Are You Wondering How To Stop Compulsive Sexual Thoughts And Behaviors?
How many times have you made the promise to yourself that “this will be the last time” engaging in compulsive sexual behavior(s), only to find yourself entangled in the same behavior(s) over and over again? Your strong desire to stop unwanted sexual acts may have resulted in countless attempts and failures.
Are you holding on to secrets that you fear will destroy you if they ever came to light? If so, your relationships may be suffering. Unable to stop your behaviors no matter how hard you try - you may feel like you’re crawling closer and closer toward a line you never thought you’d cross.
Are you spiraling into depression, anxiety, and increasing isolation? You may feel like no one understands you. Perhaps you don’t even completely understand yourself, repeatedly asking yourself, “Why am I addicted to sex?” Your situation is understandable, and you are not alone. I can help you find answers and provide the support you need to heal from sexual addiction.
If You Haven’t Yet Succeeded At Controlling Your Hypersexuality, You Are Not Alone!
Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder (CSBD) affects millions of people. Regardless of race, gender, ethnicity, religious beliefs, or socioeconomic status—CSBD does not discriminate! Conservative estimates suggest that nearly 6% of the U.S. adult population (19 million adults) struggle with CSBD (which is also commonly known as sexual addiction or hypersexuality).
Research shows that CSBD isn’t caused by a lack of willpower or mental fortitude, but instead, by previously experienced trauma, neglect, and/or Adverse Developmental Experiences (ADE). The majority of people who struggle with CSBD have encountered some kind of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse; rejection; abandonment; loss; or other unfortunate painful experience in their lives.(Learn more about the connection between sexual addiction and trauma.)
Another common thread with clients who struggle with CSBD is the discovery of emotionally soothing behaviors (typically in preadolescent years) such as masturbation or the viewing of pornographic materials (e.g., magazines/websites). The brain quickly discovers these soothing behaviors as powerful antidotes to emotional suffering. Over time, however, activities that the brain identifies as pleasurable or soothing (e.g., compulsive masturbation) may lead to a cycle of guilt and shame. We call this The Addiction Cycle.
Things like porn and masturbation may relieve the underlying pain momentarily, yet they do not address the underlying or core issue, leaving you vulnerable to relapse. The good news is that I can help! With guidance and support from a compassionate, experienced, Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist (CSAT), you can learn how to manage Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder in a healthy way. By committing to your hypersexuality treatment, you can rewire your brain and learn to develop healthier, more effective ways of resolving negative emotions.
Compulsive Sexual Behavior Treatment Can Help You Take Back Control
I provide a safe and confidential space where you can discover the answer to questions like “Why can’t I stop these intrusive thoughts and this destructive behavior?” and “How do you treat hypersexuality?”
To help relieve you of problematic sexual behaviors, I utilize the treatment model of Dr. Patrick Carnes, the founder of Sexual Addiction Treatment. Dr. Carnes outlines a 3-pronged approach to effective healing from CSBD and hypersexuality:
1. Individual sex addiction treatment
Working with a qualified and trained SATP or Certified Sex Addiction (CSAT) therapist can show you how your Compulsive Sexual Behaviors may be tied to negative emotions, painful attachment wounds, or difficulties in your relationships. Guided by the latest neuroscience research, I will teach you about the various stages of the addiction cycle and provide you with solutions proven to support healthier behavioral and relational choices. This, in turn, will help you to create new neuropathways that will allow you to develop positive habits and more effectively manage your emotions.
2. CSBD-focused group therapy
Best-practice research and our own experiences have taught us that healing from CSBD does not (and cannot!) happen in isolation. Group therapy provides a safe, non-shaming environment where you can meet other men who understand what it’s like to struggle with this issue and can support you on your recovery journey.
3. Sexual addiction-specific 12-step support
According to author Scott Brassart, the most effective way to combat triggering thoughts and emotions that could lead you toward CSBD is to speak with another recovering addict. In 12-step groups, you’ll find a safe place to talk about your addiction, its consequences, and your struggles with sobriety. This can be done in an actual 12-step meeting or in the ‘meetings between the meetings’ where you and your fellow recovering addicts simply reach out to one another to socialize and stay sober. In 12-step meetings (and other group recovery settings) you can meaningfully interact with other individuals who face challenges similar to your own. This creates an awareness that you are not alone, and others have faced similar thoughts, feelings, and experiences. In this way, you learn that your problems are not unique, and others are willing to support you – empathetically and without judgment – on your journey of healing and recovery.
Each person has a different definition of what victory over CSBD looks like, so the level of success you achieve through hypersexuality treatment will depend on your unique goals and challenges. If you are committed to your treatment plan and willing to be honest with yourself, you will experience healing. As you do, your motivation and dedication to the process will likely grow, hastening your progress.
I founded Emmaus Road Counseling Colorado specifically to put my 15+ years of recovery experience from problematic sexual behaviors into action to guide fellow sufferers ‘Out of The Shadows’ and into a place of healing. As a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT), and a certified Trauma Therapist, I have the practical training, experience, and expertise to help you find behavioral resolution and peace of mind.
As you learn about our approach to treatment for compulsive sexual behavior, you may have some questions. . .
Will my treatment be confidential? I don’t want anyone else to find out.
I understand how crucial privacy will be to help you feel safe and building a trusting relationship with you. And I am bound by law to keep your information and identity confidential. Additionally, all group members sign a confidentiality agreement prior to being admitted into group therapy. This also includes potential group members being screened for personality conflicts to ensure that each member has a supportive and helpful experience.
What if I see someone I know at one of the group sessions?
Shame is a common element of sexual addiction, so understandably, you may feel some trepidation about attending group therapy. You may have internalized a deep feeling of being flawed or defective, along with a fear of being seen/known and ultimately rejected. Support groups are a powerful way of diminishing these feelings while helping you recognize that you are not alone in this battle. You have help!
Do I have to share my entire story the first time I am there?
No, you don’t! In fact, you may choose to say very little during the first few group sessions, until such time that you feel safe enough to share more. I will do whatever I can to help you feel safe throughout treatment, and I will encourage you to share details of your sexual addiction only when you feel ready to do so.
Get The Support You Need With Compulsive Sexual Behavior Treatment
If you’re tired of going it alone and repeating the cycle of shame over and over again, let me show you a more effective way of treating this issue. Contact me for a free, 15-minute phone consultation to learn more about the sexual behavior therapy program that I offer.